Faith Rewarded
by SpeedBump
Summary: Luke has a mid-life crisis and Mara helps him put it all back together...LM because Tim Zahn's version was NOT GOOD ENOUGH...imho...:) you can write me irate reviews if you want...so long as you read it :)


Anyways...more silliness from myself...because it's summer...and I don't feel like writing anything productive today...:):) which is worse than my normal excuse of "it rained today" :):):):)...the characters are not mine, but the plot is...mine...ALL MINE:):):)I do so enjoy being stupid while writing my fanfictions...I hope you enjoy it too...and don't leave me nasty little comments about my "unprofessional" writing style...'cause I like it like this :):)

Deep in hyperspace, Mara Jade snapped awake. The same dark swirling of anxiety and fear washing over her, the same urgent pull from deep within a leafy green world far away. She gritted her teeth.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." She muttered out loud to the darkness. It wasn't time to worry yet. She concentrated on calming feelings and the pull gradually faded. Mara sighed and closed here eyes again. It appeared that Skywalker was once again in trouble. It seemed like seconds later she was awoken again by the incessant beeping from the ship's cockpit indicating a com. She grumbled and swung her feet over the edge of the bed and padded into the control room. Yawning, she hit the button on the board. Organa-Solo's face materialized and Mara bit back a yelp of surprise. The woman looked harried and haggard.

"Mara!" the relief in her voice was evident. "sorry to wake you." Mara stifled another yawn.

"What's going on now?" Leia's features darkened.

"There's something the matter with Luke, I keep getting bad emotions from him. I've tried getting through to him on all forms of communication, but he's not responding. I was hoping you might have time to run out to Yavin and check on him." Mara yawned again.

"That's actually where I'm headed right now." Leia's pinched forehead smoothed out and the panic left her eyes.

"Thank you so much, Mara, you don't know what this means to me, I wish I could go, but I'm so tied up it's ridiculous. Let me know if there's anything I can do." Mara nodded

"It's not time to worry yet. Go back to politiking, I'll make him call you." Leia nodded and managed one more exhausted looking smile of thanks before hanging up. Mara yawned hugely and swiveled in her chair. She sighed and allowed herself one tiny moment of worry. Skywalker was in some sort of state, and she wasn't sure what it was about or how she could help. The ships navigation log showed she was about an hour from landing. She stretched and resolutely went about getting dressed, ignoring the uneasy feeling at the edge of her consciousness.

Mara's plane touched down just as Yavin's suns were rising. The warm golden light chased long gray shadows across the jungle landscape. Mara frowned as she disembarked. There was no familiar figure in the half-circle of puzzled Jedi students and Tionne. Mara felt the pull wash over her, much stronger than before. Biting back a worried curse, she pulled a survival pack out of the ship. She nodded at Tionne.

"I'm going to find him." She did not spare time for an answer as she swung into a jog straight into the forest.

The morning shadows slid over her as she found herself on a slight path into the heart of the jungle. She opened herself up to the force, seeking any part of him she could find, and soon she was flat out running. He was closer than he had been, and he wasn't trying to hide himself too much, there was too much despair in his sense for that. He had given up on something and hidden away to grieve for it. Mara swore to herself and hoped against hope that it wasn't another failed relationship. She couldn't stand it after Callista had left him the last time. She sensed she was getting near and slowed. She opened her eyes, unaware that she had shut them, and saw with surprise that it was evening. She was on a tiny path, perhaps used by some sort of wild animals, and she was approaching a beautiful tranquil pond. Pushing past the last few branches she examined the clearing carefully. A flicker of motion caught her eye as a human-shaped form roused itself from where it had been lying in a makeshift bed of leaves. It was Luke, a shirtless Luke who looked dirty and haggard from sleeping too many nights out in the Yavin elements in nothing but his black pants. She let the branches close behind her, suddenly unsure, now that she had found him, of how to proceed. Luke dragged himself to a sitting position and smiled at her weakly. Mara stared at him, unable to grasp the weight of the darkness that rested on his mind.

"I knew you'd come." He managed a broken whisper as he ran his hand through his unkempt hair. Mara seemed to snap into motion. She moved forwards, towards him, swinging the pack off her shoulder and rummaging through it.

"How long have you been out here?" She kept her voice light and her shields up in case Luke could see her worry. Now was not the time to worry either, but she couldn't help allowing a slight bit of concern to tinge her voice. Luke sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"I don't know." He lied. Mara turned with a ration bar in hand.

"Well that's too long to have gone without food." Luke gingerly accepted the ration bar. He stared at it as he idly flipped it through his hands, watching the dying light flicker on the wrapper. Mara crouched beside him in silence. He could tell she was shocked and worried by his appearance, but then, he thought bleakly, he probably would have reacted the same way to finding himself half-clothed and un-washed from a weeks worth of outdoor living. To his horror he felt a warm sensation on his face and raising his hand, found it to be tears. He thought he had been done with the tears. Mara's hands came into his blurry vision and took his between her own and silently held it there, staring at it, unwilling to meet his eyes. Luke felt even more emotion wrench out of him at her silent attempt at comfort and he slowly allowed himself to slip sideways until he was laying with his head in her lap. She made no protest and rubbed his back until he had sobbed himself to sleep.

Mara shook herself awake. The dawn was tinging the tops of the trees. She looked around, nothing had changed in the clearing since she had slipped off to an uneasy sleep. Luke's head was still heavy in her lap, and her left leg was completely numb. She sighed and examined him in the cold dawn's light. He looked a little worse for the wear, with dark circles under his eyes. He should have called someone else, she had no idea how to be comforting. She had no skill in maneuvering around emotions, of giving people what they needed. She sighed in the half dark and looked down at him again. His mouth was open and his breath hissed between his teeth. She allowed herself a small smile and ran her finger lightly between his eyebrows a few times, one of the few comforting gestures she could remember from her childhood. Luke seemed to waken slowly, then realizing what position he was in sent him scrambling to a sitting position. Mara bit back a smile. He rubbed his eyes frantically.

"Sorry. You should have woken me." His voice seemed a little less hollow. Mara grimaced and rubbed her thigh, trying to restore circulation.

"I tried. You sleep deeper than a stunned Wookie, farmboy." Luke felt a curious sensation. Mara gave up trying to feel her leg and pulled her pack to her. Digging through it she threw a bundle at him. He caught it reflexively. "You can brush your teeth to thank me. I don't know what you've been eating, but I hope it tasted better than your breath smells." Luke felt the curious sensation and a small smile broke on his face. In that moment, for that moment, he felt a sudden joy. Then he caught himself and he slowly sobered. Mara watched and felt his emotions change with more care than he thought and she wondered at the smile. Luke got to his feet and moved towards the pond. Mara tore open another ration bar and contemplated her charge. The sun warmed the skin of his back as he bent his head and brushed his teeth. Mara found her eyes caught as his shoulders rolled and various muscles flexed against his skin. She felt something grip her throat and for a few seconds she couldn't swallow, the ration bar turned to paste in her mouth. He stood up and shook his hair back and surveyed the rising sun. He was taken by surprise when an object hit him square on his back.

"Get clean while you're at it." Luke felt another smile break on his features as he turned around to find soap lying at his feet. He picked it up, finding no words to describe his feelings. Deciding to try for the upper hand he calmly began undoing his pants. There was a strangled yell. He looked up to find the sight of Mara holding her pack in front of her face. "you gotta WARN a girl!" she called indignantly. A low chuckle and a splash of water was his only response. Slowly she lowered the pack, cursing every God she'd every heard of for the untimely blush. Her mind wondered for a moment, it had been decades since she'd blushed. And what was with Skywalker's suddenly returning sense of humor? Somehow, during the night a lot of the darkness that had weighed on his soul had disappeared. They hadn't even discussed what was the matter with him, and he was already acting better: smiling, embarrassing her, laughing, what the hell was this about anyways? Her eyes tracked his progress across the pond. Taking a resolute bite out of her ration bar she steeled herself to dig it out of him.

Luke felt much better after his bath and took a few moments to tread water in the open sun before lazily turning for shore. He paused while the water was still chest deep and surveyed Mara. She was lying asleep against the tree, not moved from where he had left her, her red-gold head tipped down to her shoulder, the sun warming the arch of her neck. He felt a sudden surge of emotion and his good mood disappeared immediately. He waded quickly out of the shallows and pulled his pants on as quickly as possible. He found his unopened ration bar and ripped into it. He was finally hungry again, that had to be some improvement. Mara jerked awake as he crinkled the wrapper. Squinting at him peevishly in the bright sun she muttered,

"So what's the deal, Skywalker. Why the hell am I here?" Luke sighed and stretched out against the tree next to her.

"It's never going to happen for me. I've just got to learn to accept it instead of wondering and worrying all the time." Mara frowned.

"You're going to have to be specific." Luke sighed and balled up his wrapper. Mara felt his gentle resistance to telling her. She sighed. "I wouldn't have come if it wasn't horribly important to you. I'm here, you might as well tell me." Luke sighed and drew up his knees to hide his face.

"I'm never going to get married and have a family." Mara froze. Luke sighed again, "I guess it's just not meant to be." He played with some twigs in the dirt. "sorry to make you come all the way out here because I was having a mid-life crisis. I guess the sooner I accept the fact I'm never going to be a dad, the sooner I can get on with my life and this stupid celibate-jedi lifestyle." Luke sighed again and banged his head back against the tree trunk behind him. Mara felt herself shrink. She did not want to go there with Skywalker, it was not a safe topic, and she didn't feel like dragging all her baggage out with his. All she really wanted to do was run away, but the memory of the healing and courage Luke had given her wordlessly after she had thrown off the last vestiges of the Emperor held her there, searching for the right words to bring comfort. A long silence spread between them, Luke staring up at the tree above him, and Mara fidgeting uncomfortably with her hands. She finally cleared her throat.

"I think-" she paused and continued in a very small voice. "-it's too early to give up hope-" Luke glanced at her, surprised. She was staring down at her interlocked hands in her lap, very unwilling to look at him. She fiddled with her thumbs and a childhood proverb, one that had gotten her through many rough times hurtled into her mouth. "-and I think that faith is rewarded." she finished. She could feel his gaze burning into the side of her face. Luke's strong brown hand came into view and comfortably worked itself in between her own. They sat there for a while in companionable silence, not thinking.

When the sun had begun it's descent Luke stood and pulled her to her feet.

"I suppose I'm ready to stop wallowing in grief and head back towards that "stupid celibate-jedi lifestyle."" He remarked half-way ironically. Mara almost quirked her old sardonic smile, but not quite. She turned to gather her pack, tossing a ration bar over her shoulder that Luke alertly caught, her shields and barriers not quite reasserting themselves. Keeping her gaze down she muttered,

"You need to call Leia. She's worried sick and completely tied-up with work." Luke nodded absent-mindedly, still chewing on his ration bar. Mara turned to lead the way back to the school, but Luke caught her hand. She felt her face flame and she turned, questioningly. Luke pulled her against him and wrapped a sun-browned arm around her neck, trapping her against his shoulder. Unwillingly she felt her arms circle his bare back, her palms, against her better judgment, clinging to his flesh. His cheek dropped to rest against her hair. They stood for a moment, their breathing lengthening between them in the silence. Mara could feel her heart thudding in her ears and her face was flushed a brilliant red. But she bore it, forced herself to stand still because she knew Luke needed it. His voice rumbled beneath her ear and she didn't have to hear to understand the emotion that came pouring out of him. Something rose up in her to meet his gratefulness and she actually allowed herself a rare moment of surrender to relax against him. Luke's sense suddenly turned darker and he slowly drew himself away. Mara let him go easily, but the sense of loss that welled in her throat she could barely contain. Not looking at him she turned resolutely towards the jungle, her face once again a mask.

Mara swore inwardly. It had been two weeks since she had returned from Yavin and the desperate race to save Luke's soul. He seemed to be doing as well as could be expected now, from what she could pick up from him. Karrade had contacted her to say she needed to take her vacation time as soon as she had returned. Mara sighed and turned back to the window she was leaning against in her Coruscrunt (A/N: oh my...did I actually manage to spell that correctly! wow:):)) apartment. They had fought over the issue of her vacation time for years, Mara hated taking it, and Karrade was bound by his contract to make her. She had another two weeks of solitude and inactivity to go before she was allowed to set foot in Karrade's command post. Mara sighed and let her soul go winging out over the planet. Her sense jerked and she snapped straight. Skywalker was on his way to her apartment. She flung the door open.

"What the hell?" Luke looked up, a fleeting grin on his face.

"I came to visit Leia, I thought I'd just stop by." Mara found herself tongue tied and herself trapped by the pull in his calm blue eyes. She found herself two weeks away, stuck in the jungle, held against his sun-browned chest. Tension filled the air between them and confusion and puzzlement filled his eyes. Mara felt herself biting back a torrent of confusing emotion yet again, but she wasn't able to force herself to move either. Luke's eyes clouded with emotion again, and somehow he was inches from her again. His warm hand was on her neck and his other tipped her face upwards as his mouth moved down onto hers and Mara felt herself explode into heat. Her hands found their own eager way around his back, sliding under his shirt to press against his lean muscled back again. Somehow they were inside her apartment, and Luke's hot mouth and tongue were jarred from hers as he had backed her into her couch. She opened her eyes, simultaneously willing it to be real and unreal. She found Luke's eyes, mere inches away, and his soul was stripped bare before her.

"I can't do this again." His voice was broken and his hands slid from her hips. "I can't lose again." He stepped away and turned towards the door when something in Mara broke and a burst of anger and emotion came shooting out of her. She flung it all at him and she grabbed his hand. Luke shuddered to a halt and Mara guiltily dropped his hand. Luke tried not to believe her, tried not to feel the hope bubbling up in his chest, but as he turned and found Mara determinedly not looking at him, her face drawn and composed, he felt his resistance fall away and he strode back and pulled her roughly against him. The heat enveloped Mara again and she found her arms locking around his back, pulling him as close to her as possible. She felt part of her soul go winging into him as his hot and heavy mouth once again found her own, and she knew there was no turning back for either of them. (A/N: yadda yadda yadda...cut to the drapes blowing in the breeze...yadda yadda :) I guess this doesn't fit with my previous "hussy" speeches, but Mara and Luke are a special case...:))

The next morning Mara woke to the bright sun creeping through her blinds. She stretched and turned her head. She was presented with a muscular shoulder. Her mind raced to catch up with her memories. She felt her face burn. She shifted to see if he was awake yet. A loud snore was her only answer. She bit her lip to keep from smiling. She watched his chest rise and fall a few more times before covertly tucking her arm around him and slipping her leg over his own and closing her eyes again.

The next time she awoke Luke was leaning over her kissing her forehead. She sighed and wrapped her arms around his torso and pulled him onto her. She could feel Luke's laughter as his mouth descended on hers, but she found she really didn't care. (A/N: wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more, say no more:):):))

They stayed in Mara's apartment for a week, dodging com calls and leaving the bedroom only to eat. Mara found that this new relationship was not as hard as she thought it would be, and Luke found in the unlikely person of the stoic Mara Jade, more love than he'd ever dreamed of. They were engaged by the end of the week and married by two months later. Mara bore the ceremony and most of all, Leia's fretting, with tolerable good humor, even managing to smile slightly in their pictures.

The reception was held at a local bar. Luke and Mara had insisted on close friends only, and Leia supposed ,as she surveyed the small gathering, considering how small the wedding had been, this was probably as much of a concession as Mara was willing to make for her royal love of pageantry and large ceremonies. The couple arrive, Luke beaming at everything and everyone, Mara consciously avoiding eye-contact with anyone, but unable to stop the small smile that hovered near her mouth. Again, Leia supposed, for someone who rarely smiled, it was much as she was able to offer the rest of the world. Not that she didn't look happy, Leia thought, she was as impassive as ever, but calm and peace radiated out of her the way unrest and hurt had once. They paused a second for photos, Luke laughing with his arm around her, Mara biting her lower lip not to smile, but smiling anyways. Han began calling,

"kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" amidst much laughter. Mara shot him a death glare and separated herself from Luke. Luke doubled over laughing and Mara, seemingly deaf to the cheers, seated herself at the table and began perusing a menu very matter-of-factly. Leia smiled inwardly and snagged Han's hand as they headed for the table. Luke managed to seat himself next to his bride.

Mara allowed the small smile that had been playing around her mouth to spread as she and Luke watched their guests dancing. Han and Leia were especially humorous, as Leia was chewing him out for teasing Mara. Luke's hand found her thigh and she smiled. He leaned closer to her and she could smell his cologne. She covertly laid her hand on top of his and leaned back into his shoulder. He kissed her temple and Mara stood up, dragging him with her.

"Come on, farmboy, we're dancing." Luke muttered what suspiciously sounded like a curse, but followed anyways. Mara turned to face him on the dance floor and waited. Luke sighed.

"You know I'm no good at this." Mara smiled again.

"But I am, and it is my wedding day." Luke sighed again and took her hand and waited to be led. Mara bit her lower lip again and swirled them into the music. Luke was worse than no good, he was bad. But that just made it more amusing for Mara. Finally, tired of being made a fool of with Mara's accompanying jabs of humor, he assertively took back control of the dance, which meant they went in a circle in the center of the dance floor. Luke smiled.

"This was your idea, I might remind you." Mara bit her lip against answering. There was a tap on Luke's shoulder and Han shoved Leia roughly at him with a

"here, catch." Leia managed to land a pretty good blow on Han's shoulder in protest, but Han already had Mara's hands in his and they were moving away. Mara glared up at Han.

"Don't think you can get back on my good side." Han smiled easily.

"With all this smiling you've been doing, I wasn't aware you had a good side." Mara rolled her eyes and stepped on his toes on purpose. Han grimaced.

"alright, alright. I give in. Truce?" Mara gave him a long look.

"I guess." she said reluctantly. Han smiled.

"Congrats, kid, I hope you're as happy with him as I am with the other twin." Before Mara could answer he had shoved her back at Luke and whisked Leia off before she could protest. Mara leaned back into Luke and his arms circled around her as they watched Han and Leia waltz off. She allowed herself one more tiny moment against Luke's chest before she turned to face him again. She wondered at how her life had changed, from darkness to unbelievable happiness, and unbidden, from the back of her mind she heard her mother's voice, "faith is rewarded."

the end! Finito...done...over...fin...whatever you want to call it...geeze...I thought this thing was going to be like...3 pages...and it's seven...single-spaced...that is impressive...:) and now...I'm going to leave you with some funny comments by the Dixie Chicks...my favoritist band in the world...no matter what kinds of crazy stuff Natalie says! (more like because of all the crazy stuff they do and say :))

"I have a feeling if we're around for 20 years, there will still be things we do that scare them." --Natalie

(on her tattoos) - "Black is very slimming so the more I get, they might make my feet look smaller." --Emily

"...when Natalie Maines belts her heart and lungs out on, say, "Tonight the Heartache's On Me" or "Don't Waste Your Heart", it's stone-cold, hard core honky tonk at it's best. And where else but a Dixie Chicks show can you see a fiddle break get cheers worthy of an Eddie Van Halen guitar solo?" --article about their show...:):):)

alrighty...I'm done!


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